Updated: Apr 17
When I started my personal development journey over three years ago, I discovered all of the things that make me feel good. Such things as singing, talking to friends, being out in nature, walking, meditation, reading. I know that once I am involved in one or more of the above, I feel euphoric, I feel free and I feel happy.
Today, out of the blue (because that's the thing with mental health, it creeps up on you and doesn't exactly give you warning) I found myself spiralling, where I started the numbing process that I sometimes tend to do. I put on my favourite programme (greys anatomy), grabbed some food and began to binge eat. I was looking outside and saw the sun shining and looked down at Bailey (my dog) and something inside me was able to shout louder than that voice that told me to stay where I was. I did something that I am incredibly proud of myself for doing, I put the food away, turned off the tv, grabbed Bailey's lead and went out for a walk.
And my god, am I happy that I did. My walk was full of the beauty that Spring and nature has to offer. There were daffodils, Tulips, Dandelions, Daisies, blue skies, birds singing, sheep baaing. Bailey was in her element, tail wagging, running around, free and present.
I sat on the grass, placed my hands on it, connecting, earthing, and I began to practice my mindful breathing followed by mindfulness of the senses. If anybody saw me, they would probably question whether I was ok or not haha.
I then asked myself this question: "Why do I resist going for a walk in nature?" I know that nature and walking make me feel amazing and that being out with Bailey brings me joy, but why do I struggle to do it consistently? And I know the answer, of course I do. That voice inside my head is trying to keep me safe, it wants me to stay in this cycle. Not because it hates me or wants me to fail, but because it doesn't like or want change. So, if I go out for a walk, feel good within myself then who's to know what I will do next and the inner critic doesn't like that uncertainty.
I am well aware that there may be days when that voice wins and I don't go for a walk, but I will remind myself that it doesn't mean I won't get out for a walk tomorrow or the next day.
So, don't right off something just because there were times you didn't achieve it. Allow yourself some compassion and remember that you can shout louder than that inner critic, it is possible.
"If at first you don't succeed try, try again"
The pictures included are all from my beautiful walk.
Thank you for reading and have a lovely day.
Worthy of Wellbeing